The History of Grass

Scientists have estimated that the Universe originated around 14 billion years ago in a far corner of, well, nothing. If that makes any sense. Hmm. Man, that makes you think. If there was nothing, then where did all THIS come from? Some years after that, religions were created by people who said that everything came from God. God will explain where everything came from if you get to know him. The methods of introducing yourself to God differ and some can be dangerous, so full disclosure, we don’t really understand any of this.

Moving forward, somehow there was Earth. Now here’s where grass comes into the picture. Grass began growing at some point. We can’t find the information we remembered about the origins of grass, but we can tell you what we think we saw in a video this one time. Grass started growing, and it helped animals. Or people. It changed something. It was important. Grass is IMPORTANT. If you were around when there was no grass, you’d know exactly why it was important. Imagine a world with no grass!!

Now imagine a world WITH grass. It’s easy. You probably have grass, and you are probably reading this because you want someone to cut your grass, so it would seem you would have no trouble imagining a world with grass.

Grass allowed animals to become domesticated, and then it was instrumental in the development of mathematics, iron smelting and ship building. In today’s world, grass is a vital component of rocket fuel, microprocessors and the Covid vaccine.

Now that we know about grass, let’s talk about Mow Joes, the most important corporation in the most important industry. Mow Joe was just a small infant when its family was killed in the dust bowl. Vowing never to go hungry again, Mow moved to New York and became a famous opera singer. But he never forgot the dust bowl. And then one day…

[True Story] He bought a lawnmower, a weedeater, a blower, and then a $1600 Toyota Sienna from some guy on the Northshore. He has been growing Mow Joes ever since. The terrible workers, the horrible customers, the HELL of late summer in this Death Sauna of a city; it’s all part of the deal. It’s actually exciting and rewarding to own your own business, even if (and perhaps even importantly) that it’s as basic as lawn care. 

And now YOU can be part of the Mow Joes story. So call us today!